The Consequences of Complaints

Words are powerful. They have the power to destroy or create. Complaining is very dangerous. The first thing that it starts to kill is the person it’s coming from, and then everyone else. So, how should we be conducting ourselves as believers? I came from a family where complaining seemed to be as common as air, whether we were driving in traffic and there were too many people on the road or the food at the restaurant wasn’t good enough. Complaining was part of our everyday conversation. When I became a Christian, all that began to change. I started recognizing how Christianity and complaining could not coexist and how Jesus had saved my heart and also wanted to save my tongue.

Yes, complaining has been a silent killer of Christians for centuries, as complaining rarely starts with your words; it starts in your heart and in your mind. Complaining is an underlying issue that rarely goes away unless it is dealt with head-on through the Word of God. Unlike gossip, which is outward to others, complaining is more of an inward voice that a lot of times speaks directly to you, causing you to be critical of others and critical of yourself while robbing your joy. Complaining oftentimes even masks itself in religion. Complaining can be hard to pinpoint as a sin (Phil. 2:14). This is because we feel it’s not affecting anybody but ourselves. However, the real person it’s affecting is you.

We were never called to live our Christianity with and through complaining (Phil. 2:14). We will soon discuss the power of our words and how often we think that verse, Philippians 2:14, means just the words we speak externally. But that couldn’t be further from the truth, because the words we speak internally to ourselves are just as powerful. Remember, you are the number one voice you listen to because you are with yourself 24/7. You are not always with your pastor, your leader, your mentor, your spiritual father, your spiritual mother, or even your godly community or church, but you are always with yourself. Just as Jesus brought a whip and cleaned out the temple, He wants to clean out complaining from our temple. (See John 2:15–17.)

The Bible says in Philippians 2:14–15 to “do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (ESV). Complaining is essentially an internal dispute that never goes away. It wages war with you, preventing you from enjoying the very things that God has placed in front of you. Our internal complaining often looks, sounds, and feels like the following:

• pinpointing the smallest faults in every scenario observing how something didn’t go our way instead of seeing the ways it worked out

• dwelling on past events and comparing them to current situations

• often being left with regret at the end of the day, as complaining causes us to miss out on things we can never get back

• aggressive outbursts or passive, subtle comments made under the breath

• use of disgusted facial expressions and body language along with words

• trying to justify our complaints by saying we simply desire a situation to be better

• denying that we complain and saying we’re just being real

• rarely being able to take correction

These traits, if unchecked, can often become strongholds in our lives. A stronghold, according to the Word of God, is a fortress, which isn’t bad if what you’re fortifying is truth (Ps. 18:2). But oftentimes, strongholds are twisted by the devil and used to fortify lies in our lives. Whereas, the Lord is meant to be our stronghold, as it says in Psalm 27:1, we often allow other things to become strongholds. Complaining often becomes a stronghold that keeps out the truth that the Word of God, or men and women of God, would bring. Complaining also likes to hide subtly for years until a great offense or situation occurs, and then like a dam that’s been broken, it floods out of the mouth of a believer.

Complaining—unlike offense, bitterness, and even deconstruction— often hides itself in a unique way. Complaining will disguise itself as being a problem solver or wanting to help other people, yet the critical spirit behind it leaves Christians isolated and often opens the door for pride. You might have met people like this (or wrestled with it yourself), who have the greatest intentions—they’re not evil—but their subtle complaining always taints even the greatest of truths they desire to bring. This is why deliverance and freedom from complaining will not just keep your faith alive but keep the faith of many others alive as you speak truth in love and life.

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