Fear Imprisons You; Faith Frees You
A therapist who specializes in treating individuals with OCD referred a patient to me. The therapist said the patient met all the criteria for OCD, yet she was unresponsive to all OCD treatment modalities. I initially consulted on this patient’s case and then decided to treat her.
“I have been to eight therapists. Do you think there’s any hope for me?” Mary asked as she sobbed in my office. Mary had been plagued with obsessive thoughts about everything that could go wrong in her life. Thoughts about her husband dying in a catastrophic car accident. Thoughts about her twin boys drowning in their pool. Thoughts about dying alone. Thoughts about not being there for one of her kids if they were injured? Mary’s thoughts were so overwhelming that she was unable to enjoy her kids’ childhood.
As I dug into Mary’s past, I discovered she had lost her mother at the age of five. Unable to deal with grief, her father buried himself in work and hired nannies to take care of Mary.
Mary was essentially left to her own feelings—a dangerous place for a child. Throughout the years, she repressed her feelings to cope and survive in her environment. Her life motto became: “If I keep my feelings to myself and keep our home organized, then Dad will not be stressed out, and nothing bad will happen to him.”
This method worked out for Mary until she had a set of twins. A few years into motherhood, she couldn’t keep her home as organized as she “needed it to be.” She experienced a series of panic attacks and anxiety attacks, which landed her in overdrive. She worked even harder and stayed up while her children and husband slept to make sure everything in her home was organized.
By the time her kids were in school, Mary had transitioned through the cycle of the flesh a few times: 1) She was insecure about the quality of her parenting and often referred to herself as a “terrible mom.” Out of this belief, she was obsessed with organizing her children’s clothes and toys and making sure that her home was in a spotless condition “for” her husband and children. 2) This gave Mary a perceived sense of control. When her home was not in perfect condition, she felt compelled to clean. 3) She believed this would prevent the tormenting thoughts she experienced over and over if she didn’t clean.
As I worked with Mary further on surrendering control, she saw that the root of her issue wasn’t the lack of cleanliness in her house. Instead, it was the belief that through cleaning she would be able to reduce her family’s stress level and keep them “safe from harm.”
She discovered that she carried over this belief into her marriage and family life.
Through therapy, Mary uncovered the wrong beliefs she held about God. Using several steps taught during our therapy sessions, she rededicated her life to Jesus and placed her full trust in God as her heavenly Father and protector.
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